


Youth

by psuedopoetic



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, The 100 (TV) Season 1, The 100 (TV) Season 2, canon torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:09:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25445896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psuedopoetic/pseuds/psuedopoetic
Summary: in which tagon would do anything for lincoln, even if it meant throwing away her freedom for people she didn't believe in
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**TAGON HAD KNOWN LINCOLN SINCE SHE WAS YOUNG.** Their families had been intertwined ever since her grandmother had sought refuge in Trikru from Azgeda, and despite Lincoln being four years older, he still spent time with her when they were young, before she was taken to be trained.

After knowing him for so long, she should have known this would be his answer.

" _Linkon, I was fine. You know I can hide in plain sight. I've been following these people since they arrived!_ "

" _And what if they catch you?_ " he said. " _Or if the warriors catch you?_ "

" _The warriors don't bother me, you know this._ "

" _Everything's changing. These people--they're different. They came from the sky, but they know the mountain men. You can't keep risking it, not anymore._ "

" _You go out, every day, with the warriors!_ " she yelled. "I can take care of myself, and I have. These people are weak, the only advantage they have is numbers and one gun. All I need to do is wait for a small group--"

" _You're not going after them again._ " Lincoln's tone was one he rarely used, and it made her eyes narrow. " _We can handle this. Wait until it's safer._ "

" _I can do this! I'm--_ "

" _Natwilou,_ " he said. " _I know. But you're not to me._ "

She clenched her fists so hard that her nails dug into her palms. " _Fine. I won't go after them. But when the time comes, I'm not waiting._ "

" _Maybe._ "

Tagon bit back an insult as she grabbed her knife off the table. " _Go do your 'warrior business,' Linkon. I'll make sure you don't mess it up._ "

" _Are you coming back?_ "

She didn't answer, but they both knew what she would say. Tagon never left for long, not from him.

* * *

_**WHEN TAGON CAME**_ back, nearly a day later, there was a girl chained to the wall. She was Skaikru, she could tell by the lack of tattoos and scars, and by the way she started crying and pleading in English. She almost killed her, without thought, until she said something that made her stop short, knife still in hand.

"Where is he?" she asked, pulling at the chain. "The man who brought me here, where did he go? Who are you? Can you understand me?" She cried out in frustration, squeezing her eyes shut as she yanked the chain once again. "Bellamy! Finn, Clarke-- _someone!_ "

Tagon's lip twitched in disgust as she walked past the girl, kicking her hand swiftly as she tried to grab her foot. She sat in a chair in the corner, watching the entrance, simmering with rage. She couldn't believe him. He brought one of _them_ here, he knew what they brought. He was killing them all.

"My name's Octavia," the girl said. She pointed to herself and said it again, then she pointed to Tagon. "Your name?"

Tagon didn't blink, and acted like she had never seen her. The girl screamed in frustration, clawing at the handcuff on her wrist, trying to pry it off. When Lincoln got back, she was going to give him hell. She couldn't believe him.

When Lincoln came in, exactly five minutes later (she counted each second with a tight jaw), she got to her feet, knife clutched tightly in her hand. Octavia watched, wide-eyed, her thought process displayed clearly on her face: she thought Tagon was going to stab Lincoln.

After so long of knowing each other, of being each other's only true company, they didn't have to speak. Their rage boiled over, a thousand words and arguments flooding the air with only a blank, un-blinking stare.

Tagon growled in frustration, throwing her knife in a clean, quick throw to land on the bark target on the cave wall, dead in the center. She paced, entirely aware of Octavia's fearful gaze, up until she looked to Lincoln. 

She whispered something Tagon couldn't make out, and when Lincoln crouched toward her, Octavia bashed a rock onto the back of his head and sent him sprawling.

With a cry of rage, Tagon burst forward, kicking Octavia square in the chest, making her gasp tearfully. Lincoln grabbed her ankle and tugged, nearly knocking her off balance. 

He didn't want her to kill the girl. The same girl who just tried to kill him.

When Tagon looked back, he shook his head, and despite everything in her saying no, she listened. She couldn't go against him like this, he'd never forgive her.

Quickly, Tagon took the knife from her thigh, pointed it towards the girl, and helped Lincoln to his feet. Octavia was shaking, yet trying to put on a brave face. Tagon admired it, but it was a pitiful attempt.

She looked to Lincoln, lips pressed into a thin line, and he still didn't agree. Why did he want this sky girl alive? She just tried to kill him. She wouldn't hesitate to give them over to the mountain men.

Foosteps echoed through the entrance and Tagon gripped her knife tighter, looking around frantically, trying to estimate how many there were. More than two, but she wasn't sure how many. She could take them, she knew she could. 

"Bellamy!" Octavia yelled. "Go back! Don't come in here, they'll kill you!"

She was right.

Four people walked in. A tan man, only a few years older than Tagon, the one who had been hit with the spear, a red-haired girl she had never seen before, and the long-haired boy that snuck out at night. She dissected them, looking for their week points, where their injuries were, how much force it would take to break their arms.

"Give me my sister."

"Bellamy, don't!"

"If you hand her over, no one gets hurts," he said, a crudely-made knife in hand. "It's your choice."

The speared-boy lunged forward, swinging a stick of metal, and Tagon dodged, grabbed his shoulders, and brought her knee up into his chest. He gasped, falling to the ground as she kicked him to the side, directly in the spot where the spear hit.

" _Jasper!_ " the girl cried, and when she went to crawl toward him but the chain yanked her back, that was when the fighting started.

Bellamy burst forward, punching Lincoln square in the nose as Tagon stepped back to avoid a swipe from the long-haired boy's knife. Their movements were weak, flawed, with holes larger than would ever be allowed.

When the red-haired girl swung a spear, the point of it slashing across Lincoln's cheek. In one swift movement, Lincoln kicked her knee, sending her stumbling back as he quickly dodged Bellamy's knife.

The long-haired boy and Bellamy switched, the older now swiping at Tagon, driving her back into the wall. He was growing more confident as he saw the wall growing nearer. When Tagon's spine hit the table behind her, Bellamy went to grab her throat, but the few seconds of distraction on his part was all she needed.

She brought her knee up between his legs, and in the few milliseconds of pain, she grabbed a thick metal scrap from the table behind her and drove it into his arm. He cried out and his sister screamed, tugging against her chains as she tried to reach him.

Tagon watched in horror as the speared-boy, who was on the ground moments before, brought a rock down over Lincoln's head and he crumpled to the floor. She let out a cry of rage, dug the metal deeper into Bellamy's arm, and pushed him hard enough that he fell on top of his sister.

She was only inches away from slicing open the speared-boy's throat when the chain wrapped around her ankle. Before she could react, it was tugged backward, and she fell to the ground, face-first. She crawled, her face bursting with pain, her arm outstretched for her knife.

A foot came down, and she cried out as she felt the bones of her wrist grind together.

"This is for my sister."

Something hit the back of her head, and with a short-lived spasm, Tagon went limp on the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

**WHEN TAGON WOKE, THE FIRST THING SHE NOTICED WAS THAT SHE WAS TIED UP.** The second was that there was someone inches from her face, tightening them. 

She brought her head forward, her forehead exploding with pain as the person grabbed their nose, gasping as they stumbled back.

"Shit!" they cried. "She broke my nose!"

"That's why I told you to make it tighter," Bellamy said. "The last thing we need is this bitch getting free because you screwed up."

"Fuck you, Bellamy," the boy said, spitting blood onto the older man's shoe as he went down the ladder.

They were in the thing that these people called the "dropship." Tagon had heard them talking about it in the woods three days before, she hadn't seen anything like it. Not anything that came down from the sky like it did.

"Octavia," Bellamy said, "get out of here."

"I told you, he was protecting me." She looked toward Lincoln, almost _guilty_. "You didn't have to do this."

"This isn't about you. I'm doing this for all of us."

Octavia gestured to Lincoln's bloody face. "You did that for all of us?"

"I did that for Finn and Jasper and Diggs and John and Roma."

The mountain people had killed so many that their names blurred together. They could afford to lose a few.

"It wasn't even him," Octavia argued.

"You don't know that!" he yelled. "We need to know what we're up against. How many and why they're killing us. And they're gonna tell us right now."

"No, Bellamy, please!"

"Miller, get her out of here," he ordered.

Two boys went forward, grabbing her by the arms, but Octavia elbowed one of them in the nose and got free. She walked to the ladder on her own, fists tightly clenched.

"I don't even think they speak English," she said angrily. "They won't understand you."

"Oh, I think they will."

Once Octavia was down the ladder they shut it, Bellamy still staring at her and Lincoln. If her hands were only a few inches closer together, she could break her right thumb and slip out of the restraint. But it didn't seem like it would happen any time soon.

Abruptly, the dropship shook, and Tagon bit her tongue as her skull blossomed with pain from being jerked sideways.

Bellamy picked up a thing that had been knocked down--some sort of thing that glowed white--and looked down the ladder. "What the hell was that? We under attack or not?"

A boy climbed up. "Storm damage. We're okay."

That seemed to calm Bellamy's nerves. With a bit of reassurance on his side, he walked up to Lincoln. "Let's try this one more time. What's your name?"

Had Tagon woken up after Lincoln? The thought that something worse might have happened before she woke up made anger boil deep within her.

"Where's your camp?" he continued. "How many of you are there?"

"Hey," one of the boys called out, "check it out." 

The only two left un-tied in the room walked over to him, and Bellamy crouched down to hold Lincoln's tin of antidotes. Tagon prayed that they didn't spill any of them. Some were hard to find, and they couldn't risk what they had before to get it.

"What is all this stuff?"

"Hell knows with these people."

They pulled out two journals from the small pile of things they collected from the cave, and Lincoln pulled against his chains. Tagon didn't, but she still feared what they would do if they opened them.

"There something in here he doesn't want us to see, Miller." With that, Bellamy started to flip through the pages of Lincoln's journal. "These aren't bad. There's a lot of that girl, though. Maybe they're siblings, they're protective over each other."

"Or dating," 'Miller' suggested. Suddenly, he went still, his face paling as he flipped to a page in Tagon's journal. "Bellamy, you might want to see this."

Bellamy was distracted by something in Lincoln's journal, but that quickly went away once he saw the page. "What the hell is this? Is he counting how many of us are left?"

"There's too many tallies for it to be us." Miller looked--almost fearfully--at Tagon. "I think it's hers."

"We don't know it's about killing," the other boy suggested. "Maybe it's about . . . errands or something."

"One of the tallies is done in blood," Miller pointed out. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say it's how many people she's killed."

"So what?" the boy said. "She's an assassin? She can't be much older than us, that doesn't make any sense."

"There's murders here, too," Bellamy said. "And these people seem to have no problem killing us. I don't see why their own people would be any different."

Tagon showed no sign of understanding them. She was trained, just like Lincoln, to not let the enemy know they could speak English. If the mountain men knew their people could understand them, they would all be taken.

"She broke Jay's nose," Miller said, looking defensively over his shoulder at her. "Can we really take the chance with her?"

"She's tied up, she can't go anywhere." Bellamy went back to Lincoln's journal, vastly less confident. "And if she did get out, there's almost a hundred of us to stop her.

"We can't tell Jay," Miller whispered. "You know how he is with the whole, uh, murder thing. He'd lose it."

"I wasn't thinking about it." Bellamy stopped flicking through Lincoln's journal, a vein in his jaw jumping out. "It's our camp. I'm guessing if I counted all those marks, it would add up to 102. Ten are crossed out." His lips twitched in anger as he stood up, dropping the journal on the ground. "That's how many people we've lost. They've been watching us ever since we got here."

Tagon wanted to know what that meant. Were they with the mountain men? One of them was carrying a gun, he fired it at the panther. But they came from the sky. It didn't make sense to her, it sounded like one of the stories the other children told her.

"Who knows what this place is," Miller said. "For all we know, we could've landed right in their home. If this is what they call one."

Where did they come from? What did they call home? Tagon wanted to know what it felt like to come from the stars, if they could see them every day, or if they looked better up close.

Bellamy brought the journal closer to Lincoln and Tagon, the two boys following behind him. He flipped through warily, looking to her every time a picture of her appeared. There were a lot of her, Lincoln liked to draw her when she wasn't paying attention. He liked to capture her when she wasn't "defensive" as he put it.

He flipped to the page of the mountain men and Tagon forced herself to remain in the state she learned in training. A blank slate, untouchable, unreachable. The mountain men could not hurt her there, they could not see her, they could not hear her.

"What the hell is that," the other boy whispered.

"Friend of yours?" Bellamy asked, showing the page to the two of them. "Who are they?"

The door on the floor opened, and the blonde girl that Tagon spotted often came through. She seemed to be their leader of some sort, alongside Bellamy. They didn't work well together.

The boy--the one that Tagon still didn't know the name of--stepped in the girl's way, who didn't seem phased by it. "Get the hell out of my way."

"It's okay," Bellamy said. "Let her through."

She walked forward, eyeing Tagon and Lincoln with several emotions, mostly horror and disgust. She didn't seem to agree with what they were doing.

"Well," she said, "if they didn't hate us before, they do now."

Bellamy grabbed her wrist and took her over to the corner, as if the rest of them couldn't hear. "Who cares." He loosened his grip. "How's Finn?"

"Alive." She shook her head. "Their people will care. How long until they figure out where they are? And what happens when they do? I mean, when they come looking for them? They will, Bellamy."

"Relax, Princess. No one saw us take them. They were chained up in that cave the entire time, and thanks to the storm, we didn't see a soul on the way back."

Thunder rumbled, startling the Skaikru. They didn't seem used to the elements.

Bellamy started to unravel the string around Lincoln's journal and flip through the pages. "Okay. In case you missed it, his people are already killing us." He handed her the page the showed the lines with x's through them. "How many more of our people need to die until you realize we're fighting a war?"

"We're not soldiers, Bellamy." She gestured to them. "Look at them. We can't win."

"You're right. We can't. If we don't fight."

When the armies came, there would be no fight. 

"Clarke!" someone from down below yelled. "He's seizing!"

Wordlessly, she climbed down the ladder, and Bellamy shut the door behind her, locking it in the process. 

Lincoln used his poisoned knife on this 'Finn.' Smart. Tagon was still correcting herself mentally, berating herself every time she realized where she went wrong. If she had used a poisoned knife, things would be different.

"This is pointless," Miller said. "We should just get this over with."

"What good would killing them do?" Bellamy asked. "Really, what would it do? Finn would still be poisoned, and then we'd lose our only chance at finding anything out about this place. We need them."

"They're not going to tell us anything." Miller began looking through the journals again. "Look at them. He looks like shit, and she definitely has a concussion. And they don't even care."

"They will, eventually. Whatever training this is, it won't work."

Bellamy wouldn't be the first to try and break her, and she doubted he would be the last if she made it out of this alive.

"Are we sure?" the other boy asked. "I don't wanna end up like--"

"Hey!" someone yelled, banging on the door. "Open the door!"

They continued pounding, and Tagon let her head lull, the little bit of comfort going a long way. She could feel the cramp-like sensation spreading down her neck, radiating from the back of her skull. It throbbed worse than she'd ever felt before, but it was manageable.

Miller sat down the journal and opened the door, putting his hand on the top step of the ladder so Clarke couldn't come up. 

"Get out of my way, Miller. Now!"

The storm continued outside, and each clang of something against the ship made her head ache.

Clarke came up, followed by Octavia. Immediately, Clarke walked up to Lincoln, only a few inches from his face as she held up the bloody knife. "What's on this?"

"What are you talking about?" Bellamy asked.

"He poisoned the blade." Her hands were shaking, the knife clutched too-tight. "All this time he knew Finn was gonna die no matter what we did. What is it! Is there an antidote?"

"Clarke," Octavia said, "he doesn't understand you. Neither of them do."

"Vials," Bellamy said, quickly moving to grab Lincoln's tin of antidotes. "It's gotta be here."

Clarke dropped the knife and took the tin. "You'd have to be stupid to have a poison around this long without an antidote." She looked at them desperately. "Which one?"

"Answer the question!" Bellamy yelled.

"Show us," Octavia said. "Please."

"Which one?" Clarke asked. "Our friend is dying down there and you can stop that."

Bellamy walked forward, rubbing his nose anxiously. "I'll get them to talk."

"Bellamy, no!" Octavia grabbed his arm, trying to pull him backward. "Bellamy, no!"

"They want Finn to die! _He_ wants Finn to die! Why can't you see that?" Bellamy looked to Clarke. "Do you want him to live or not?"

"Clarke," Octavia pleaded, "you even said it yourself. This is not who we are! He was protecting me, he saved my life."

"We're talking about Finn's life!" Bellamy argued. "And what about her, huh? Did she do anything? Because you saw what she could do in that cave, and you didn't see the body count in her book. She would have let you die, just like she's letting Finn die."

Clarke barely waited a second before she answered. "Do it."

Octavia shook her head and lunged forward before she was caught by the two boys. "Just tell us! Don't make them do this!"

Bellamy brought a rope-like thing with a metal buckle forward. Tagon's stomach clenched in anticipation, her skin tingling at the memory of what that felt like. He started to cut off Lincoln's shirt with his crudely-made knife. "You're gonna show us the antidote. Or you're gonna wish you had."

Lincoln didn't fight, not until Bellamy moved to her. He struggled, his restraints pulling taut as he thrashed.

"Someone control him!" Bellamy yelled. 

The other boy walked forward and kneed Lincoln in the stomach. Tagon didn't make a face then, and she only let herself stare Bellamy in the eyes as he cut her shirt off. He tried to avoid eye contact, seeming to wither under her gaze.

"Bellamy, no," Octavia whispered. "Please."

Bellamy swung an arm forward, Lincoln grunting as he tried to fold in on himself once the buckle hit him. He did it again, this time hitting Lincoln across the face, and Tagon had to force herself not to react despite everything in her screaming to stop it.

Clarke rushed forward, kneeling with the tin of antidotes. "Please," she said. "Which one's the antidote?"

"Just tell them," Octavia said. She was crying.

Once Bellamy put a hand on her shoulder, she sighed and moved back to where she was before. Tagon remained blank as Lincoln grunted again, louder this time, then again, and again.

Despite the ache she knew he was feeling, Lincoln still struggled again his restraints when Bellamy moved to her and readied his arm.

"Bellamy," Octavia tried, "please. You don't have to do this."

He didn't listen. 

When the buckle hit, Tagon bit her tongue so hard to hold back a noise that she tasted blood. She shut her eyes, trying to hold back the memories of Tose doing the same thing with a thin branch, declaring that she needed to be stronger to win the Conclave.

She jerked at the second, and the third, and the fourth, and then the fifth. She swallowed her blood despite the awful taste it had. She forced herself to be something that wasn't moldable, at least not by them.

Lincoln still struggled against the restraints as Bellamy went forward, but Tagon didn't miss the way that Bellamy looked haunted when she stared him in the eye. He didn't like what she saw.

Tagon made eye contact with Lincoln, silently pleading with him not to do anything. He was trained, almost just like her, to resist torture. But they both knew what would happen if they found out about her blood. The mountain men sought out people like her, and whoever these people were, she didn't want to find out what they would do.

She jerked each time, doing her best to keep back any noise as she coiled her muscles tightly. _You're made of steel, with blood of oil,_ she mentally recited, made of steel with blood of oil, a machine that cannot break.

She barely heard someone from below cry out that 'he' was getting worse, she could only relax against the restraints as Bellamy stopped.

"We're running out of time," Clarke said as she fell to her knees by the antidote tin. "Which one? Which one is it? If you tell us, they'll stop." There were tears in her eyes. "Please tell us which is the antidote and they'll stop this.

Bellamy through the buckle to the floor and Tagon flinched, expecting another throw of his arm. "If that doesn't work, maybe this will." Another crudely made weapon, one that went between his fingers, thin and metal. "Clarke, you don't have to be here for this."

"I'm not leaving until I get that antidote."

"Last chance." Bellamy looked Lincoln square in the eye, and when he didn't say a word, Bellamy drove the blade into the palm of his hand.

Tagon stared at the ground as Lincoln grunted in pain, his hand shaking involuntarily as blood dripped down onto the floor.

"What's taking so long?" A tan young woman came up through the door. "He stopped breathing." Before Clarke could go back down, the woman grabbed her arm. "He started again, but next time, he might not."

"They won't tell us anything."

"Wanna bet?"

She walked over to the wall closest to Tagon, and it took every ounce of training she had in her not to try to yank away from her.

The woman had pulled wired out of the wall, and as she rubbed them together, the sparked like fire.

"What are you doing?" Bellamy asked, more anxious than he'd been the entire time.

"Showing them something new."

Tagon's muscles coiled so tightly that her spine popped, a garbled scream erupting from her throat as she bit her tongue. Her body jerked, shaking almost violently until the woman pulled the wires back.

"Which one is it?" she yelled. Tagon only looked at the floor. "Come on!"

Her body jerked more forcefully this time, every second seeming like a thousand years and her skin seemed to melt and twist. It felt worse than fire, and she didn't think that was possible.

"He's all I have!" she sobbed.

"No more!" Octavia yelled, the poisoned knife in her hand. _She wouldn't_.

"He's letting Finn die!"

She sliced the knife across her forearm. "He won't let me die."

"Octavia, what the hell did you--"

She pulled away from his grip to kneel at the tin in front of Lincoln's feet. She tapped the knife in front of a vial. "This one?" She tapped at another one. "Good?" Lincoln tilted his head to the side and she grabbed the one farthest to the left and held it up with her bleeding arm. "This one?"

He nodded, just barely.

Octavia handed the antidote to Clarke, and with a quick whisper of thanks, her and the young woman sprinted down the ladder.

"Octavia," Bellamy tried, "let me--"

"No, don't touch me!" She wrenched her way out of his grip, and with a quick glance to Tagon and Lincoln, left the room.

"So," Miller said, "what do we do now?"

"We got the antidote." Bellamy ran a hand through his hair. "I think we all need some rest, and I need to check on Finn. We'll come back later and finish this."

They nodded, and once the door shut, only leaving Miller to watch as the guard, Tagon allowed herself to slump against the restraints.

If she didn't hold back, they would be free.

_* * *_

_**CLARKE DIDN'T TRY**_ to clean Tagon's wounds. She didn't have any, aside from red, splotchy skin from the wires. Clarke didn't seem eager to try her luck, not after she had broken that boy's nose.

She pulled the blade out of Lincoln's hand as he grunted with pain and dropped it to the ground. When she tried to bring a wet rag up to wash his hand, he moved it away, staring at her defiantly.

"Hey," she said, grabbing his wrist only slightly forceful, "I need to clean this."

He moved his hand away again, but Clarke caught it for the second time.

Octavia--who Tagon hadn't even noticed enter the room--walked forward. "Here. Let me try." She took the rag, and Lincoln allowed her to gently touch the wound.

"I never wanted him to get hurt, Octavia. You have to know that. I just wanted to save Finn."

"For the record," Octavia said, "you didn't save Finn. That was me. But whatever you want to tell yourself to feel better."

Clarke left the room, and Octavia only offered a bitter look over her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," Octavia whispered, looking between the two of them. "You saved my life and look--look at the thanks you get." She wiped gently at the wound, like she was scared to hurt him. "I never wanted any of this to happen to you. To either of you."

His thumb wrapped around hers hesitantly, and she stopped, her eyes going slightly wide as she looked to him. "Thank you," he rasped.

"Hey," Miller said from the front of the room, speaking for the first time in hours. He walked foward, a few feet behind Octavia. "He just say something?"

"No." She went back to cleaning the wound.

"You know your brother doesn't want you up here, Octavia. Let's go."

Octavia nodded and dropped the rag into the water bucket, following behind Miller as they went down the ladder, the door shutting behind them.

Tagon looked at Lincoln, her thoughts coming across clear as day: you broke the number one rule.


	3. Chapter 3

**TAGON WAS NEARLY CERTAIN THEY WEREN'T GOING TO KILL HER OR LINCOLN.** They seemed to think they'd get some form of information out of them, or that they would use them as a bartering chip. She thought it was laughable. They didn't know who to even trade with, much less that it wouldn't work.

But it meant they would be alive for a short while. When Miller had left for a few minutes to use the bathroom, they had whispered their plan, and it was settled. Whenever they were out of the dropship, they would make a run for it. All Skaikru had was crudely made weapons, only knives. They were poor at combat, the only advantage they had was numbers. Both of them had already mapped out their camp, and knew the one weak spot that people had been using to sneak out of since the wall was built.

Lincoln had said they wouldn't hurt Octavia, but Tagon couldn't care less about that star girl. Lincoln's infatuation with her had gotten them into this situation, she wouldn't let it make them stay. She wouldn't let Lincoln get hurt for her.

"Hey, Miller," someone called up from below, "Roma's parents are waiting for you on the radio."

Miller yawned and got up from his seat, giving a stern look to them. "Do anything while I'm gone and you'll regret it."

Tagon simply blinked at him in response as he left down the hatch. When the door opend again, not even a minute later, she excepted Bellamy to walk through, the usualy angry look adorning his face, but instead it was Octavia.

"Hi," she said. "We don't have a lot of time." She shut the hatch door behind herself and walked toward them. "I brought you some water. Here." 

Octavia helped the two of them drink, and Tagon merely stared at her as she did so. Octavia didn't say a word to her.

"Sorry I haven't seen you since everything happened," Octavia said. "My brother's been keeping me away. He's a total dick, which you probably already figuered out."

Lincoln smiled slightly, letting out a puff of air through his nose, which made Octavia smile in return. "You do understand me. I knew it. Does she?"

Tagon didn't say anything, and Octavia shifted awkwardly as she pulled o her jacket and sat it on the the floor. "Well at least let me get you cleaned up quick." She took the wet rag from the bucket of water and started to gently wipe it across Lincoln's wounds, doing her best to get the dried blood off.

"This is all my fault because I freaked out so bad when you locked me up in that cave," Octavia whispered. She started to work on his face, more gently than before. "You'd totally understand why if you knew how I grew up."

"My name is Lincoln," he rasped, abruptly, catching them both off guard.

"Lincoln," she repeated, almost numbly. "I'm Octavia."

Tagon tugged against her restraints, the jangling of the metal catching Lincoln's attention and making him look down towards his worn shoes.

"Is that it?" Octavia asked, moving the rag away. "Is that all you're gonna say? You can talk if you want to . . . Lincoln."

"It's not safe for us to talk."

"Well if we shouldn't talk, then why did you tell me your name?"

"I want you to remember me after I'm dead."

Tagon's eyes widened. " _No_ ," she said, the Trigedasleng making Octavia stiffen with confusion. " _I will not let it happen._ "

" _Tagon_ ," he rasped, " _this only ends one way._ "

" _It does not, I--I will not let you die. You know I won't._ "

"If you just talk to them," Octavia tried. "Tell them you're not the enemy, they'll listen."

"I am."

Right as the words left his lips, the hatch door opened, Miller came back through, not wasting a second. "Octavia, get the hell out now."

"Bellamy's not even here."

"Get out," Miller said, "or he gets the beating I've been aching to give him."

Tagon stared back at him, emotionless, and he still couldn't meet her eyes. Weak.

"Okay, okay. I get it. I'm gone." She put the rag in the bucket, and with one last defiant look to Miller, she grabbed her jacket and disappeared below.

"You're not as tough as you think," Miller said. "Not in chains."

Tagon cocked her head to the side slightly, and Miller sat down. "You're just creepy."

She lulled against her chains, relaxing the best she could. She hadn't slept since they arrived, and from what she could tell, it had been four days. It was hard to tell since there were no openings, all she could decipher from was when the guards switched and said it was time for the other to sleep.

The lack of sleep wasn't getting to her, and neither was the food. She had gone longer before. Before Lincoln. She forced her face to be neutral as she remembered where they were. She'd be damned if she let him die.

Ten minutes later, the hatch door opened again, Octavia's head popping through moments later.

"Get out."

"Relax," she said. "I thought you might be hungry."

Miller caught the silver package she tossed easily in one hand and moved it around as he tried to open it.

"A peace offering. I shouldn't have come up here alone earlier. It was stupid and dangerous and . . . he's not worth it." She started to climb back down. "I won't tell Bellamy if you won't."

When the door shut back, Miller through a nut at Tagon's head. When she glared at him, he simply smiled and tossed another into his mouth. As she relaxed against the restraints again, she coughed sharply, barely getting any attention from Miller, but as expected, Lincoln quickly looked to her.

And he saw it too. A Jobi nut, pale, like they were long after they had gone bad.

_* * *_

_**MILLER HAD LEFT**_ what she could only guess was hours before, mumbling on about something called a "solar flare" and how he had to take someone named Bryan to see it before it passed. The Jobi nuts were making him see things.

When Octavia burst through the door, Tagon startled, falling back against her restraints. Octavia didn't seem to notice as she cut Lincoln down, again paying no attention as Tagon struggled against her restraints when he groaned in pain.

"Don't worry, I didn't forget about you."

Tagon stumbled, catching herself on the wall as her muscles ached and cramped with pain. She'd been stuck in that position so long that her bones didn't seem to move.

"We have to hurry," Octavia said. "We need to go, now."

"Why are you doing this?" Lincoln asked as she put his arms through a red cloth jacket.

"Just get dressed." She looked at Tagon. "You too."

"They'll know you helped me," Lincoln insisted. 

"You said it--you stay here, you'll die. I'm not gonna let that happen."

Tagon shrugged on the black jacket, bristling at the feeling of it against her raw skin. It was different than jackets she had seen. She decided Skaikru's clothes were strange.

"I'm not gonna put you in danger," he said as Octavia put a larger jacket onto him.

With fingers that didn't seem to cooperate, Tagon pulled the jacket tighter around her, the idea of her chest and torso being completely exposed unnerving her.

"Even in these clothes, I'll be seen. We both will, I can't let her--"

"People are seeing plenty of things right now."

Tagon stumbled, going stiff as Octavia caught her. She nodded slightly and pulled the jacket tightly around herself, the corners of her eyes crinkled at the pain all of the movement was causing.

"The nuts," Tagon rasped, tears involuntarily pricking her eyes as her throat cracked. "You gave the guard Jobi nuts to subdue him. To make him see things."

Octavia's eyes were wide, and for a split-second she forgot about what she was doing, but then she helped Lincoln to his fet. "Yeah--yeah, I did. You can understand me?"

"Yes." Tagon took Lincoln's other arm despite the pain that coursed through her veins. "We need to go, before it wears off. It only last a few hours, we don't have much time."

Tagon went to reach for one of the poorly-made knives and Octavia went to grab her wrist before she thought better of it. "You can't--you can't hurt them. I know what they've done is wrong, but they're just scared, they--"

"They're weak." Tagon didn't take the knife. "We must go, now. Is the front gate guarded?"

"I don't think so. Last time I looked, Monroe was running around camp talking about pink apples. I think we're in the clear."

Tagon had let herself become soft, let herself believe that she couldn't fight the people in the cave days before. She made a promise to herself, in that moment, that she wouldn't let it happen again. Not for herself, but for Lincoln. The heavy weight on her shoulder sealed it in stone.

When they reached the hatch door, they stalled, and Tagon turned back, her heart beating rapidly against her chest--to see Lincoln and Octavia kissing. Softly, Octavia put a hand on his arm and Lincoln pulled away. Tagon tugged on his arm, and together, they went down the ladder.

There were three floors, and after one more climb down the ladder, they got to the bottom floor. Luckily no one was inside of it, and they slipped through the tarps covering the door and out into the humid air.

"This way," she whispered, helping Lincoln along as they went behind part of the unfinished wall. She could see it tunnel ahead to an opening, the area that they were trying to make into a front gate. 

"I'm sorry I dragged you into this." Lincoln groaned as he walked along. "I should have known."

"Maybe." Her jaw set, tight. "But we'll never know. We can't worry about that right now. All we need to do it get out, alright?"

He nodded.

They reached the opening, both of them stumbling, to find Finn--the boy Lincoln had stabbed--standing there. Tagon's hand went for her knife, that usually sat on her hip, before she remembered nothing was there.

Finn dipped his head to the side, and with shock flooding her system, Tagon pulled Lincoln along before they sprinted into the forest. Tagon's body was sore, but she welcomed the pain, letting it ground her to reality.

Lincoln didn't say a word, but she knew what he would.

Skaikru was dangerous, more than they had believed.


	4. Chapter 4

**IT HAD ONLY BEEN THREE DAYS SINCE THEY ESCAPED SKAIKRU'S CAMP, BUT FOR TAGON, IT FELT LIKE CENTURIES.** Things had changed since then. Lincoln was increasingly cautious about who came to their cave, or near it. It wasn't against any law for Tagon to exist, but she wasn't a favorite of anyone's, and Lincoln was cautious of what they would think if they found out she was with him. So far, no one but Nyko knew, someone that Tagon trusted to keep the secret.

In those three days Octavia had came by. Tagon was against it, she had yelled at Lincoln, a knife clutched in her fist, but she eventually stood down. Octavia--as much as she hated it--made him happier. Tagon didn't want to take that away. On top of that, she had gotten to know the sky girl more. She wasn't as bad as she first thought, as much as she hated to admit it. Underneath the naiveness of Skaikru Tagon could see a bit of a fighter.

Worst of all was that when Octavia came Tagon had to leave. She wasn't stupid, she knew what was happening. She had made it clear that she would be gone for three hours, and if they weren't done by then each time, she would personally make sure Octavia never came back again. 

When the three hours were over she made her way back to see Octavia and Lincoln just coming out, sharing a kiss that made Tagon's nose scrunch as she glared at them.

"We were talking," Lincoln clarified. "To know each other."

Tagon didn't say anything, she just nodded slightly as she twirled a knife absentmindedly between her fingers, flipping it back and forth between her hands. Octavia watched, starstruck. "Can you teach me to do that?"

Tagon blinked, confused, until she realized what she was talking about. "Oh. If you want."

Octavia smiled. "Cool." She looked to Lincoln, bumping into him with her shoulder. "Your sister's badass. I think I picked the wrong one."

Tagon smiled at the joke, surprising herself. But it was short-lived, because two people came out from behind the brush, and she was already moving, knife in hand, limbs a flurry--

"Tagon, _wait!_ " Octavia yelled, grabbing her arm and pulling her back. "They're my friends!"

She shrugged her off, her heart beating fast in her chest as she stared at the people. It was Finn and Jay, the one that Lincoln stabbed and the one that she broke the nose of. She glared at Octavia, knife still clenched in her fist.

"I think you lost this."

Her eyes went wide by a small inch. In Finn's hand was Lincoln's knife, the one that had been impaled in his side with poison. It made her raise hers, forearm by her face, a clear message that if he moved she wouldn't go for a non-lethal place.

"We need to go inside," Lincoln said. "They can't be this far out, someone might see them."

Tagon grabbed his shoulder, communicating a clear argument with her eyes, and he responded with his own. They had gotten good at that.

With anger bubbling in her chest she followed behind the Skaikru, noticing how Jay had a stance similar to a warrior. He knew how to hold himself properly, and she could tell by the way he was nervously clenching his fist he knew how to punch properly, too. Was he a warrior on the Ark? Or what was it Octavia had called them--guardsmen?

Tagon had learned about them since then, about where they came from. She and Lincoln didn't say a word about the Mountain Men, the words didn't seem to be able to come out. Octavia had in turn learned a small amount about them, enough to satisfy her curiosity. Her main interest were the tattoos, she was fascinated at how their skin was full of it.

"So what the hell are you guys doing here?" Octavia questioned.

Finn's face glowed in the firelight. "I could ask you the same thing. I could also ask how long you've known they speak English . . . but I won't."

Jay gave him a look but didn't say anything.

Finn picked up the skaikrasha tromon--storm horn. "You blew this when your people were hunting us." Lincoln nodded by a fraction. "You saved our lives. I have to believe there's more like you."

"I stabbed you," Lincoln said. "And she broke his nose."

"And we tortured both of you," he pointed out. "If the four of us can get along, then maybe there's hope."

"Uh, in case you haven't noticed, I think she's wanting to kill me," Jay said. "She still hasn't blinked."

"She's just like that," Octavia explained. "Don't worry, that means she isn't going to. If she wanted to, she would have."

Jay nodded. "Comforting."

Finn continued. "We need to learn from history, not repeat it."

Octavia's eyebrows pinched together. "Okay, how?"

"For starters . . . no killing," Finn proposed.

Lincoln shook his head. "I don't have the power to call a truce."

"Then bring me to someone who does." Tagon scoffed. "Hey, look. The rest of our people are coming down here. The first ship lands in two days. And because of the attacks they're sending mostly soldiers, the people that enforce our laws. The Ark is about survival at any cost and they'll kill people who fall out of line. When those people get down here, if they feel threatened they will start a war and I-- _we_ \--don't want that. Neither do you and I think that's why you blew that horn."

"How many are there?" Tagon asked, surprising the two men.

"Soldiers?"

"How many people on your Ark."

"I think around two thousand. Why?"

"Your soldiers stand no chance. Even with your guns." She looked between them. "Tell your people to go back, before you have everyone upon you."

"You don't understand," Finn tried. "They have guns, and bombs, and everything you can think of. They can kill hundreds of you before you can even fire the first arrow."

She looked at him, calculating. "Do you have . . . more missiles?"

He seemed confused at the 'more' but didn't ask any questions. "We have bombs powerful enough to be one."

Tagon swallowed her nerves. "And you think the people you have here will want peace with us?"

Finn sighed. "I don't know. But if we're at peace, and everybody comes down and sees that, it'll stay that way. No missiles, no bombs, no guns. No deaths."

"Alright," Lincoln answered. "I'll bring my leader, you bring yours."

"What . . . Bellamy?" Octavia shook her head. "He'll never go for this."

"No, not your brother."

"Clarke," Finn said, finally understanding. "I--I can do that, I'll get her here."

"Not here," Lincoln said. "There's a bridge, by a river a few miles from here. Bring her there tomorrow. No one but you. No weapons."

Jay looked uneasy at that. "No weapons, seriously? Is your guy gonna listen to that too?"

"No, because we're not the ones that need peace. You do." He was right. Missiles would hurt them, but against thirteen clans, they would be demolished. "No weapons, only you three and Octavia."

Jay narrowed his eyes but shrugged anyway. "Fine. I'll get her to not bring a knife."

Octavia hugged Lincoln, giving him a quick kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow. Be safe until then, alright?" He nodded. Octavia turned to her, holding out her hand. Tagon stared at it before shaking it, which made the girl smile like she'd gotten the best gift in the world. "See? Told you you'd warm up to me."

Not if she could help it.

_* * *_

**_THEY HAD GOTTEN_** Anya to come. Anya was rational, she didn't want to see the bloodshed, and if peace was an option--even with Skaikru--she wanted to attempt it. Tagon was glad it was Anya. The woman had been surprised to see her, stumbling back a step in surprise. She had been stone-faced until Tagon spoke, then it was broken, and they wrapped one arm around each other for a few seconds.

Anya was like a mother figure to her. Tagon's teacher had been a cruel, callous man, but Lexa's had been everything she wished for. Anya was a hardened woman, yet still she chose to love Tagon like she loved Lexa. It was something that stuck in her mind every day, the closest thing she ever had to a mother, even above her own.

Tagon ran up beside her brother to meet Octavia, Anya and her warriors behind them, hidden by the trees. The archers were already up high in the trees, arrows on all of them. As Octavia and Lincoln hugged Tagon stood there, tracing the dots on her hand to hold her mind still.

When the clop of the horses' hooves came, Clarke let out a gasp, whispering that there was horses. Jay, however, looked confused. "Why's that horse's face covered? Do you tattoo the horses too?"

"No," Tagon said. "The radiation scarred its face. We cover it to hide it."

Jay whispered something about a deer, but Tagon ignored it, because Finn was already walking toward them. "You said no weapons!"

"I was told there wouldn't be."

Tagon wondered if they were talking about the same Anya, the same Anya who she had never once in her nineteen years seen without a knife.

Finn went to walk forward with Clarke but Tagon stuck her arm out, pushing him back. "Clarke goes alone." He didn't seem to like that.

"I'll be fine."

"Clarke--"

"Hey. It's time to do better."

The awkward, border-line romantic tension between them was making Tagon uncomfortable, which made her glad when Clarke made her way toward Anya. They met in the middle, and for a brief moment Tagon held her breath until Anya spoke first.

They were too far to hear, but Tagon knew Anya well enough to know it wasn't going well. Her face never changed, but she knew. Anya was angry. She was trying for peace, but she was angry. For a minute it changed, she seemed to be in agreement, and then it switched again.

Peace wouldn't be made today, they knew it was a long shot the moment they tried for it. But it was worth trying.

"Clarke, run! _Run!_ "

A boy--the one that had been speared--ran out of the woods below the bridge, gun in hand, and he started firing wildly at the trees. _The archers_. Tagon raised her arm to throw a knife at him, to stop it, but Finn grabbed her. "Stop, you can't kill him!"

She shoved him to the ground, but before she could throw it, Anya went to stab Clarke and someone fired a bullet into her arm.

" _Anya!_ "

The woman shook her head, just a fraction, as she ran back to her horse. She didn't want Tagon to follow. Because if Tagon did she could be shot, too.

Archers fell from the trees as the horses pulled away, and Tagon watched with horror as an archer on horseback fired an arrow. Lincoln, just like she predicted, went to move in front of Octavia.

The arrow hit Tagon in the shoulder as she jumped in front of them, shooting pain up her arm. Lincoln immediately grabbed her, snapping the arrow as he pulled it out. It barely hit her, it wouldn't be bad. But thankfully her clothes covered up the blood.

"Oh my God," Octavia gasped. "Tagon, you've been hit."

"It's fine."

"Go, run," Lincoln said, pushing Octavia away. "Don't stop until you get behind your walls." Octavia grabbed onto them, trying to stay as the others pulled her away. "Go, take her!"

"Lincoln, no!"

"Go!"

Jay lingered at the edge of the woods, conflicted. He felt bad for what happened.

"Go," Tagon said. "Before the war starts."


	5. Allies of the Woods

**SINCE THE ATTACK AT THE BRIDGE THEY HAD BEEN PREPARING.** They both knew war was coming, that one of the Skaikru they'd been torturing in Tondc was sent with the sickness to soften the battlefield. Tagon had told Lincoln she had no problem fighting in the war, that it would be over quickly, but he wouldn't let her. They had argued for hours, screaming so loud that it scared the birds.

It had ended when Lincoln landed the final blow. He said that people might know her as Natwilou but he didn't, that he wouldn't leave her to fight the war, but that he wasn't staying for it. She was angry that he knew she would choose him, but he was right. Tagon always chose her brother.

They were going to Floukru. They had gone there, before, but left because Tagon didn't acclimate well to the no-violence law. But Lincoln thrived there, it was the place he belonged, not as a warrior. Tagon would do whatever she had to stay with her brother, she'd swear off any form of violence if that's what it took.

Lincoln had already been labeled a traitor to Trikru because of Octavia, something Tagon had warned him about the moment he allowed it to happen. For Tagon, she wasn't a traitor, but there was now an air of uncertainty surrounding her name after she was spotted on the bridge. A rumor had spread that Natwilou was working for Skaikru, that she'd slaughter them all.

It was a lie that would never be true, but Tagon didn't want to risk saying that. Instead when Nyko came to tell them about what was being done in Tondc she went to gather water for the trip. She couldn't stand being suffocated by the fact that she was fleeing, again. She could practically hear San calling her a coward, a spineless being.

For years, she had stayed with Lincoln, without anyone knowing she was there. All they knew was that Natwilou lurked somewhere in Trikru's woods, haunting them for her sins. But now they knew. It was too much of a coincidence that she showed up with Lincoln at the bridge, it was clear. When she was young, they had been friends. Every time she visited the village, she went to Lincoln instead of the people that were her family. 

Now that the truth had finally come out, Tagon wasn't sure what would come of her. All she knew was that she wouldn't let them touch Lincoln. He might be one of their village's best warriors, but his training was nothing compared to the training that Natblidas received from birth. 

If anything, the training bred a new form of human. A species that was untouchable from the rest, a species with ash blood and savage veins. A species of weapons that did not weep.

" _It will be okay,_ " Lincoln assured. " _Floukru will take us in._ "

" _You think I can be there?_ " she asked. " _Last time, it was made clear that I cannot fit in . . . somewhere like that._ "

" _It will work,_ " he said. " _It has to._ "

" _If it doesn't, you stay._ "

" _Tagon--_ "

She shook her head. " _Floukru is what you deserve, brother. You deserve that peaceful life. I might not be able to--to wash this blood off of my hands. But I will try. And if I cannot, you will stay._ "

" _I won't leave you._ "

" _You won't be leaving me. I'll . . . be leaving so you can live the life you need._ "

"Lincoln! Tagon! Lincoln!"

Lincoln was on his feet, meeting Octavia as she came into the cave. He held her face, worriedly looking over her, checking for signs of the sickness.

"You knew," Octavia stated.

"I tried to get you out of there," Lincoln said. "Did you not see the flower?"

"I saw it . . . right before I found the kid your people sent to infect us. People are dying, Lincoln. Clarke sent me here for the cure."

He shook his head as he turned around. "There is no cure."

"So you were just going to let my people die?" Octavia yelled, looking between them. "You were gonna let _me_ die?"

"The sickness passes quickly," Lincoln explained. "Few are immune. We use it to soften the battlefield." He held her face gently. "I am not surprised you are one of the strong ones."

"The battlefield?" 

Lincoln's hands slipped away. "They attack at first light."

Octavia shook her head in shock. "You're gonna have to help me save them."

"I can't. I tried. My people think I'm a traitor now."

"Because of the bridge? You were just trying to make peace."

"It's not the bridge."

Realization set in. "Because of me?"

"That doesn't matter now," he said. "I'm leaving, Octavia. Right now. Tagon and I. I want you to come with us."

"And go where?"

"East to the sea, then across it. There's a clan, allies of the woods. They'll take us, all of us."

Octavia looked down toward her feet. "I can't just let my brother get killed."

"There is nothing you can do to stop that now."

"I can warn them," she tried.

"Octavia, they'll _kill_ you." His voice was cracking slightly. "If you're there at dawn--"

"I won't be," she said. "Just wait for me here. I'm coming with you."

Before she could leave, Lincoln pulled her into a kiss. Chaste, quick. It didn't make her stay.

Tagon sharpened her knife against a rock. "She won't be coming with us."

"You don't know that."

"I do."

_* * *_

_**WHEN THE EXPLOSION**_ happened, Tagon rushed into the cave, nearly toppling Lincoln over. " _We have to go. Now._ "

" _What was that? Did they start the attack early?_ "

" _They blew up the bridge,_ " she said, hurriedly packing things into her bag. " _I didn't see it but--they must have known that was the fastest way they could come over. You know what comes next._ "

He nodded shakily. "Mountain Men."

Tagon worked quickly, packing up what was useful and the few important necessities, along with her weapons that she strapped to any available part of her body. Octavia walked in just as she was draping the cloth over her back.

Lincoln didn't say a word to her.

"We had to stop the attack," Octavia defended. She looked at Tagon. "Tagon, please, you understand."

She did. But they made the wrong choice.

"Look. There is so much you don't understand," Lincoln said, stricken. "The Mountain Men, they'll come, and they'll kill us all. We have to get out of here while we still got a chance."

"The Mountain Men?" Octavia said. "You mean, the drawings in your book?"

"Yeah." He pocketed a knife. "Now let's go. We got a lot of ground to cover before dark."

Tears brimmed Octavia's eyes. "I'm not going with you." Tagon stopped as Lincoln turned. She knew this would happen. And then Octavia held out his journal.

Tagon looked away. She didn't want to see it, she knew it would break Lincoln's heart. She drowned at their words, the sharp intake of Octavia's breath as she cried, the goodbyes. She only lifted her head when Octavia walked toward her to exist.

"Tagon," she said. "I--"

She held out a long-bladed knife to the sky girl. "Here," she said. "And--when our people come, do not try to fight them. Your guns aren't enough to stop them. Take your people and leave. The Mountain Men won't be far behind them."

Octavia nodded jerkily as she took the knife. "Thank you, Tagon."

Lincoln didn't speak until Octavia left. "How did you know she wouldn't come?"

"She loves her brother like I love you. If armies were coming for us, I still wouldn't leave you."

When he hugged her, she hugged back, tight enough that she could feel his tear on his cheek.

**Author's Note:**

> this is cross-posted on wattpad, under the username euphoricsenses! updates might be posted quicker there :)


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